The outcast's haven

Situational Awareness

Mood: Indifferent, machine-like
Attitude: Slight optimism
Relationship Status: 'One Republic ft. Timbaland- Apologize'
Financial Status: Still greedy, xP
Academic Status: Screwed in Japanese, otherwise above average


Hey everyone that reads my blog... I guess I haven't been updating my blog recently, but a lot has happened since I last updated... I lost people I know in the devestating bushfires on the 7th of Febuary. Incidentally, it was my birthday when it happened. From this day forth, my birthday is to be commemerated by mourning one of the most devestating disasters that have affected Victoria. I guess I'll be updating a bit more frequently, but it'll be focusing a lot more on my personal life now, I guess...

From around the beginning of the new year, my whole world has been turned upside down. There's a lot more complicated stuff in my life. So much more politics, money, and risks. I guess I would have been semi appreciative of this, but of course, there's always going to be a tradeoff. Somehow, I think that my almost completely pessimistic attitude has been changed into an almost optimistic attitude, despite the new challenges that have been presented towards me.

A lot of these new challenges involve things that are completely out of my control. I never knew that death would seem like a viable option at times, I never knew that perhaps, a broken heart could hurt more than a white hot needle. Obviously, there have been people before me. But the best teacher will always be experience. Nothing can teach a person better than experience, and I'm about to get a helluva lot more lessons.

What will these lessons encompass... I'm not too sure exactly. I just know that I'm beginning to fuse my many identities into one. It won't be pretty, but I can feel the walls closing between realities, and images that I've presented. The smoke is fading, and the mirrors are disappearing one by one. Soon... Soon, I'll know who I am.

Oh yeah, so well, I think I've stopped having my interesting Korean romance. Basically, I can't be fucked anymore, so it's back to my cruel and evil money making schemes. If there's someone that'll ever be able to change me, I wonder... But for now, my stance on romance is basically like the song above 'Apologize'. Frankly, it'll take a lot to change my mind, and that's even if there's ever something to make me even glance back.

Oh, I'll always think about what would've been, but it's basically over now. Maybe there'll be a touch of life in this machine, but I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel now.